By Bob Russell

 

T’was the night before Christmas, as we swung on the hook,

Our first wintertime cruise, it would be by the book.

 

Our safety equipment was stowed with great care,

With hope it would never be needed, anywhere.

 

And I in my cabin and Ma in the head,

We were just getting ready to get into bed.

 

When out on the water there arose such a clatter,

I sprung from my bunk to see what was the matter.

 

Away to the porthole I flew like a flash,

Tripped over my shoes, left my head with a gash.

 

The moon on a blanket of low-lying fog,

Gave a ghostly appearance that was really quite odd.

 

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature ship with a crew of reindeer.

 

What I saw next defied all discussion,

I was sure I was suffering from some sort of concussion.

 

The little old captain was hailing us down,
Shouting something about running aground.

 

Dressed in a red suit, he was lively and quick,

I wasn’t surprised he was called “Captain Nick.”

 

His new GPS had failed without backup,

Then he got lost due to charts — or the lack of.

 

Now without power, alone on the water,

He shouted to me that a Mayday was in order.

 

Though he was stranded, not sinking you know,

I decided it best to call in Sea Tow.

Dispatch said they could not get there in fog,

And also because they were drinking eggnog.

 

Now it was mine to save captain and crew,

I could transport the captain, not those reindeer, I knew.

 

I threw him a towline attached with a bight,

Then started the engines and pulled with all might.

 

The incoming tide took some weight off the keel,

Helping the small ship slide free with a squeal.

 

Now underway we proceeded dead slow,

With captain and crew safely in tow.

 

Just when we thought we were out of all danger,

A new problem struck that seemed even stranger.

 

We heard a low sizzle and then a sharp crack,

Suddenly everything around us went black.

 

Something had shorted, the lights were all dead,

Not being visible filled us with dread.

 

Captain Nick was on this one, for this he prepared,

He wasn’t even a little bit scared.

 

He called to his crew, “Hey red nose — get up here on the double,

Take your station port bow and keep us out of trouble!”

 

Arriving safely on land at long last,

The waiting limo whisked them off very fast.

 

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

“Merry Christmas to all, and to Bob some new lights!”

 

Before his passing, the author was the Safety Officer for the Patchogue Bay Power Squadron. He expressed his apology to Clement Clark Moore for this parody.